Power of Gaslighting
What is gaslighting and how does it affect people?
Gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation where someone makes you doubt yourself your memory or even your sense of reality. The person doing it often sounds calm or even caring but the effect is confusing. For example if you tell them “you said this to me” they reply with “no I didn’t” or “you’re imagining things” or “you always make stuff up”. After a while you start to wonder if maybe it’s true and your confidence slowly drops without you even noticing
Why do people gaslight others?
Some people use gaslighting to gain control or power. They want to shape the way others think or feel especially in close relationships. Sometimes the gaslighter doesn’t even fully realize they’re doing it. Maybe they grew up in an environment where this behavior was normal. But others do it very intentionally to confuse weaken and isolate someone so they can dominate the relationship
How can I tell if I’m being gaslighted?
There are certain feelings that show up again and again. You might feel like you’re walking on eggshells around that person. You might find yourself apologizing all the time even when you’re not sure what you did wrong. You start second-guessing everything you say or feel. If you express a concern and they always flip it back on you or make it seem like you’re the crazy one that’s a red flag. Over time you start trusting them more than your own thoughts and that’s when gaslighting really sinks in
Is gaslighting only in romantic relationships?
No not at all. While it’s common in romantic relationships it can happen anywhere. It could come from a friend a boss a parent or even a sibling. Any dynamic where someone has influence over another can involve gaslighting. Sometimes whole groups can gaslight one person especially in toxic work environments or in families with an unspoken hierarchy
What happens to someone who’s been gaslighted for a long time?
It can take a heavy toll on their mental and emotional health. People lose their sense of self. They don’t trust their own decisions anymore. They may feel anxious depressed or emotionally paralyzed. Even after leaving the toxic situation the effects can linger like echoes in their mind. They might question everything and feel emotionally exhausted most of the time
Is there a way to protect myself?
The first step is trusting your gut. If something feels wrong don’t dismiss that feeling. Keep track of what was said or done especially if you’re being told you’re remembering things wrong. Writing it down can help. Talk to someone you trust. Getting a second opinion from someone outside the situation can be grounding. And if you start feeling overwhelmed don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist. You don’t have to handle this alone
What if I’m the one gaslighting without realizing it?
That’s a powerful question. A lot of people pick up these behaviors from past relationships or how they were raised. If you notice you often invalidate other people’s feelings or twist facts to make yourself look right take a step back. Ask yourself if you're really listening. Do you acknowledge how others feel even when you disagree with them. Change starts with awareness and a willingness to do better not just for others but for your own integrity
How is gaslighting different from just arguing or disagreeing?
Disagreements are normal and healthy in any relationship. Gaslighting isn’t just about arguing though. It’s a pattern where one person constantly undermines the other’s sense of reality. If every disagreement ends with the other person feeling confused ashamed or like they’ve lost their mind that’s not a disagreement. That’s emotional manipulation
How do I heal after experiencing gaslighting?
Healing starts with reclaiming your voice. That might mean writing down what’s real to you so you don’t forget it. Or practicing saying no and setting small boundaries again. Therapy can help you rebuild your confidence and recognize healthy dynamics. Sometimes healing means grieving what you lost including parts of yourself that were buried. But those parts can come back with care time and the right support
Can I ever trust again after going through this?
It’s hard. No sugarcoating that. You might start seeing red flags everywhere. You might push good people away because you’re scared of getting hurt again. But trust can come back. Slowly and quietly at first. It helps to surround yourself with people who validate your feelings not people who challenge your sanity. The key is not rushing. Let trust grow where it feels safe
What can I do if I see someone else being gaslighted?
Be gentle. Don’t accuse or push them too hard. Just listen and let them know what you’re seeing. Sometimes they might not be ready to hear it especially if they’re emotionally attached to the person who’s manipulating them. Keep reminding them they’re not crazy. That their feelings are valid. Just knowing they have someone on their side can make a huge difference
Does gaslighting have anything to do with childhood or how someone was raised?
Yes a lot of times it does. People who grew up in households where their feelings were dismissed or twisted often become vulnerable to gaslighting later in life. They’re used to being told what they feel is wrong so it’s easier for someone to come along and repeat that pattern. On the other side some people who gaslight learned early on that controlling others was the only way to feel secure or powerful. It’s a cycle but cycles can be broken
Are there examples of gaslighting in media or real life?
The term gaslighting actually came from an old movie called Gaslight where a husband slowly manipulates his wife into thinking she’s losing her mind. In real life we see examples in relationships where one partner constantly denies doing things they clearly did or tells the other they’re overreacting when they’re not. It can also happen in politics media and workplaces. Any time someone tries to control how others perceive reality that’s gaslighting in action
What’s something I should always remember about gaslighting?
You’re not weak for being affected by it. Gaslighting works because it’s sneaky and slow. It chips away at your sense of truth bit by bit. But the fact that you’re questioning it or reading about it means you’re already waking up to it. Your reality matters. Your feelings are not wrong. And you deserve to be in relationships where you feel seen heard and respected
